Levi (turning 7 next month): Mac just hit me in the nuts with his paw!
Me: Nuts, huh? When did you start using that word?
Levi: Everybody says nuts.
Me: Oh. OK. We've always called them testicles in this house.
Since I have a core belief that food preparation and consumption are the Earthly expressions of love, I paid Nob Hill Foods to do my loving for me this holiday season. Not the consumption. Just the prep.
They baked my holiday cookies for me. I paid them $15. And it was SO worth it.
And tonight the kids and I decorated cookies in our messy and crazy way.
And I feel good.
I'm wondering what else I can outsource...
After lengthy conversations about what we want to give to all of the cousins in the family for Christmas, my son and I had a chat about what he might want from Santa.
Levi: I want a big Infernape(tm). And I want Pokemon(tm) cards.
Me: What in the world is an Infernape(tm)?
Levi: It's a big ape, and he's on fire and he can.... insert endless Pokemon(tm) words here ... and I really really want one. A big one that I can sleep with.
Me: Wow! That sounds great. I wonder, however, if they even make that. Hmmm...
Levi (shooting me a chilly glance): It's OK, Mom. Santa MAKES all his toys.
Oh, OK. That should work out just great, then.
Charlie is my husband's very best friend in the world since high school. Ruben loves him like a brother. Maybe more, actually. Rube tries to get a hold of him a couple of times a year, usually around Charlie's birthday and the Holidays. Charlie sometimes calls on Rube's birthday. I haven't seen him since their 20th reunion when I was pregnant with Levi, who is now nearly 7.
Rube has always wanted Charlie to be a bigger part of our lives. To know our kids and celebrate and hang out with us. I understand Charlie's resistance, though. We are a non-partying family. We play board and card games and make delicious meals and go to bed at a respectable hour. This is not now, and has never really been, Charlie's speed.
Rube and Charlie's history has all those crazy stories that best friends just have from those wild years. There is a hitchhiking (in the wrong direction) story where Charlie came to rescue Rube. There is the "bug rolling" story. Tales of eating fast food meals and double-dip ice cream cones over the very windy Highway 17, all while driving a stick shift. A lifetime of memories, really.
At nearly 11:00 PM on Tuesday the phone rang. It was Charlie's brother, Robby. My heart sank. I was instantly hoping he was in jail or rehab.
He wasn't.
Charlie died in his sleep on Friday. He just didn't get up that day.
We don't have any details about the circumstances. Ruben didn't ask. Robby didn't offer. Doesn't really matter.
Ruben is wrecked. Ruined. So desperately sad. The reconciliation process hasn't begun. What does his life look like without Charlie in the world? I'm not sure Rube knows. I'm not sure he will any time soon. Despair is hanging around him like a cloud. He physically hurts from the loss.
And I can't do a fucking thing.
Today I will love my husband. Today I will love all of you stupid, crazy, irritating people. Today is all that I've got.
It has lights on it.
And all is right with my world again.
I don't know why a cut tree inside my house makes my heart soar. Cause, really, Christmas is just another day. Just another day with an ungodly amount of expectation. And greed. And disappointment. And tragedy.
And when I take a moment to let it sink in I just want to weep.
Which must be why there is so much momentum. And buying. And eating. And laughing. If I am doing all of these things I can't be devastated.
And so today I will be deluded. And will sweetly drift off to sleep with visions of sugarplums and happy children and perfect trees with perfect presents below.
And I will weep when we take the tree down.
Wondering where I went?
I went here:
Tonight is opening night. I'm wishing my daughter well. Hoping she doesn't really break a leg.
Cause after this week (Tech week, called "heck week" by the kids. Cute, huh?) with my child up past 10 PM most nights, we all need a break.
But too bad, cause it's the holidays now!
I'm not as peppy as I was last week. I don't know if you noticed.
I'm trying to come up with some delicious and yet pretty simple appetizers to serve at a dinner party we've been invited to with some new friends. We've met them through the new school. They are foodies and sporties and the lovely wife of the host family is up to her eyeballs in volunteer efforts at the school. Putting me to shame, really.
So, here is what I am thinking for 4 couples:
Crab-Stuffed Mushrooms
Cheese Puffs (Gougeres)
Smoked Salmon and Wasabi Cream Cheese Bites (Made with Rube's homemade Smoked Salmon)
And lastly, this Crudite Platter with the "Really" Onion Dip. A much smaller version, mind you. I'm not spending the day prepping all those veggies. I mean, gimme a break - it's a veggie plate.
What do you think? Anything you would change? Any smashing holiday appetizers you'd like to share! Cause I would love, love, love that!
I know I said I was going to slow down with the posting. And I just might. But today I am feeling so very merry. And I had to change my banners and I was thinking about this month and how much fun it is. And how much work that is. And how much better it all is with Christmas music and a hot beverage (perhaps served with a cookie).
So I may be sharing some recipes or some favorite songs. I may be around here quite a bit. Or I might disappear. But you know when you know you are slipping day by day into a sad place? Each day a little darker and sadder than the day before and there is nothing you can do to stop it?
I am doing the OPPOSITE of that. Day by day I am getting happier and happier. And mania like this needs an outlet. Believe me!
So, for starters let's have a cookie, shall we?
Here is a cookie that takes me back to my childhood in an instant. We called them Vienna Dream Bars. Because I think that is what Betty Crocker called them. Whatever you call them, here they are. (Thanks, Razzle Dazzle Recipes for posting the perfect recipe so I don't have to work so hard!)
Date Crumb Bars
FILLING:
1 lb Whole pitted dates
2/3 cup Golden brown sugar; packed
2/3 cup Orange juice
1 tbsp Vanilla extract
CRUST:
1 1/2 cups Old fashioned oats
1 1/2 cups Flour
1 cup Golden brown sugar; packed
1 tsp Ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp Baking soda
1 pinch Salt
1 cup Unsalted butter; chilled, cut into pieces
3/4 cup Walnuts; coarsely chopped
Stir dates, brown sugar, and orange juice in medium saucepan over med. heat until sugar dissolves. Simmer until dates are tender and syrup is thick, about 3 minutes. Cool; mix in vanilla. Puree filling in processor until smooth.
Preheat oven to 350F. Butter a 13x9x2-inch baking pan.
Crust:
Mix oats, flour, brown sugar, cinnamon, baking soda, and salt in large bowl. Add butter and rub in with fingertips until mixture resembles coarse meal and forms most clumps.
Firmly press half of crumb mixture onto bottom of prepared pan. Spread filling over crust. Add walnuts to remaining crumb mixture and sprinkle over filling.
Bake until topping is golden brown; about 40 minutes. Cool in pan. (Can be prepared 1 day ahead. Cover and let stand at room temperature) Cut into squares, serve.
This is my last post for the month of November. It was certainly a lovely experience. As we head into the thick of the holiday season I will not continue at this pace.
Here, have a song from me. I'm gonna sway off into the ether.
I got a promotion at work.
Sweet.
Also, I have had great success with this thing over here. But, shhhh. Don't talk about it. Don't you dare.
And then there is this:
That's right. I'm a big fat fucking winner.
Thank you, thank you. Especially you, Secret Agent Mama for awarding me the coolest gun award ever for being a secret agent. And I am. Secret. And secretive. And I'm glad you can all see that.
And I want to thank Becky (who happens to be a mom of 4 kids, and really, that deserves an award right there) for tagging me for the 7 things meme. As I just did it a few days ago I will say "Thanks!" and let you check it at your leisure.
Here are a few things that I love:
I love Sarah Vowell. Every god-damned thing about her up to and including her amazing voice.
I love Christmas music. And I love the cheesy easy-listening station that plays it round the clock from Thanksgiving until New Years Day. Feel free to listen online if you are in need of some insta-spirit!
I love dead people. But you may already know that.
I love Life. And Damian Lewis in particular.
I love my Kiddos.
I love my husband. (You can look but don't touch, ladies. He's taken.)
I love it that Ruben took the kids to the "fireside" Family Reading Night at the kids school tonight - without me! (Is that so wrong?)
That about covers it for today.
Me: Hey, pal! Watcha wearing?
Levi (looking down at his capri pants): Clean underwear!
It's progress, people. Not perfection.
School conferences were today.
The kids are doing GREAT at the new school. Levi's teacher told us that he is a joy to have in class. Totally participates and grasps concepts. She showed us a sample of his writing from October and it's like an alien wrote that stuff because it is so different from the writing he does now.
She did say he is relentless wiggle-worm. And he is. And it made me feel like she really knows him. And she still likes him. So I like her.
Madigan's teacher presented us with her report card (A's and 2 B+'s) and proceeded to tell us how she can bring this B+'s up. If she participates in class discussions a little more and steps up the self guided math program, she could have those B's up to A's in no time.
Huh?
I'm terribly happy with the report card. This is Madigan's first trimester in a new school, with new ways of doing things, play practices every day and holidays every other week. I'm not going back to her to tell her how she can take those awesome grades and make 'em just a little better.
And I told her teacher that.
I found a scan of this picture! (We don't have digital pics of our wedding.)
Who's that pretty girl standing there with that handsome guy?
Today is the day MY family gets together to consume the meal that I wait for all year. And I freakin' stoked!
The other Thanksgiving went well. We were all exhausted after the Turkey Trot and could have slept the day away, but we enjoyed ourselves and ate some good food and seem to be pretty rested now.
Also, Levi ran his first 5k that day. He's 6. And, apparently, a showoff. Whatever.
Seriously, though. He ran the whole way with his dad and my brother. And I am amazed.
Happy Thanksgiving Day Again to you all!
Ring. Ring. (totally not the sound his cell phone makes, but you get the picture)
Husband (from the golf course this morning): Hello.
Me: Hi babe. We need a couple of things from the store. Can you stop on your way home?
Husband: Sure, what do we need?
Me: Sweet potatoes and I need tampons.
Husband: Jam pots? Why do we need jam pots? Like, jelly jars or something?
Me: TAMPONS. Not jam pots.
Husband: Oh, yeah sure. OK. Sweet potatoes and your thing. Gotcha.
He arrived home and plunked the Safeway bag on the counter and returned to the car to unload his golf clubs. I looked in the bag and found only sweet potatoes. I followed him to the car.
Me: Did you leave the tampons in the car?
Husband: Ham hocks? Did you ask for ham hocks?
Me: TAMPONS. Not ham hocks.
Husband: Oh... man. I forgot.
Forgot, or living in complete and utter denial?
You decide.
Have a lovely holiday. And, if you're lucky, a bacon wrapped turkey.
Oh, hell yeah!
OK. Tomorrow is the day. I'm planning on having a relaxing evening tonight prepping the brussel sprouts and salad that I'm taking to my mother in law's house tomorrow while my husband smokes meat. Maybe even a romantic dinner as my children will be at my folks house overnight. Shut up! It could happen!
Tomorrow we will kick off our day with the traditional Turkey Trot in downtown San Jose. OK, so it is a brand new tradition for us, but perhaps a lasting one. Ruben and Madigan will be running, Levi and I will be walking with my folks and my brother and a big bunch of people from my work. I'm excited to have this fun and healthy social thing to kick off the day. I hope we don't freeze. (the California version of freeze, I mean. Which consists of feeling a bit chilly and having a pink nose and complaining about it endlessly while wearing our Old Navy performance fleece pullovers and stomping our feet.)
This means, however, that I will have to Tivo the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. So I'm wondering how it will play on the day after the holiday, without any turkey in the oven or children that I have to rush around. I might even like it better! Yeah!
For my friend Tammy in Arizona:
The Wonder Emporium was delightful! Really sweet and thoughtful. It is the most celebratory movie about death that I have ever seen. Did I mention it was about death? Cause no one else did either so I was more than a little worried when I put it together in the theater, but was so pleasantly surprised. Both my kids left the theater believing that we made a good choice when we decided on this one over Bee Movie. So, there you have it! Go and have fun.
But really, Enchanted opens today. So maybe you should go to that one, and then you could send me a review! Whadda ya think?
By the way, I LOVE this recipe for 18 can stuffing. OK, it's not really a recipe, but a look into the mind of a woman whose writing I dig. And 18 cans of stuff. Which becomes a "Black Hole of moist." Really, check it.
Me: Did you put on clean underwear?
Levi (now wearing a very exasperated look): Why don't you tell me that before I get dressed? Every day I have to go back and put on clean undies!
Really?
Apparently it's time to learn how to extrapolate.
That's what we've been up to at the Casa Cupcake.
It's a short week which means all of my work needs to get done in less time. Super cool!
Levi is a big reading guy and so he shows off his amazing talent on a nightly basis. Two shows every evening, 6:00 and 7:45. Shower in between. Don't be late. You snooze you loose.
I've been making new recipes. Modified to be healthier (I know - ugh!). But it's good for my whole family. And since I can't live with the crap that passes for "low cal" recipes I'm making my own. I'll post the finalized goodness.
This week was low fat brownies with Scharffenberger dark chocolate. Fudgy and delicious. Also a spinach, mushroom and onion quiche with a little emmentaler. It has barely enough egg beaters to bind all the goodness together. Crazy tasty.
This week will bring smoked turkey and salmon, roasted brussel sprouts, salad and soup.
And as to the loving, I'm going to let you guess...
