7/24/2008

ASSUMPTIONS MAKE AN ASS OF MY UMPTIONS

Or whatever.

Things I have assumed of late:

1. Everyone knows that Tempest is the most bad-ass video game. Evah!

Turns out that there are only 16 of us who even remember this game, and my friend Angela is one of them. And I didn't even know this until today. Which makes her an even more precious flower of delight.

2. When I ask my kiddos to pick up their stuff around the house they understand that I mean the dirty socks, pokemon cards, pajama bottoms, water glasses, giant mountain of stuffed animals, books and 6 blankets from the now defunct living room fort.

Apparently they think I mean, "Put the remote controls on the coffee table."

3. If left long enough the laundry will do itself.

Nope, turns out it doesn't.

4. Anyone with a brain knows that SunChips KILL Doritos. Doritos don't deserve to lick the seat where the SunChips were just sitting a minute ago.

Sadly, it is not so. SunChips remain the red-headed step child in the (totally abusive and neglectful) snack food family.

5. You will judge me. Harshly.

I'll admit right now that I am totally judgmental. I judge. I judge before, during and after any given situation. This doesn't make the situation any different. It just makes me surprised when it turns out that I am wrong (always).

So when I am met with openness and warmth - well, it scares me a little.

At blogher '08 I met women of every shape, every size, every stage in life (including infants) and I found them, each and every one, so beautiful and lovely. The confident ones, the relaxed ones, the scared ones, the stressed ones (even the puking ones) - each of them a delicate brushstroke, exactly, perfectly just what and where they needed to be. And in the reflection of this masterpiece I found that I was, too. Perfectly me. Perfectly human. Perfectly accepted.

I am an ass. I own it. But I learn a lot though my assyness. It continues to serve me.

I assume you'll agree.

7 comments:

Sugar said...

aaawwww.... I miss you already! I wish I lived anywhere near you! Well, we are in the same state... hmmm... I'm feeling a road trip...

You painted a very cool picture, you sweet little Cupcake, you! Thanks for being perfectly you.

Always Home and Uncool said...

SunChips, Doritos - bothe Frito Lay products. My Love approves.

Assiness, if smart, is becoming. Cheers!

Lara said...

if you didn't learn from the assyness, it wouldn't be useful. we all learn from our ass moments. it keeps us honest. (some of us also learn from the puking moments. we learn not to eat at lori's diner.)

Clair said...

Are you sure you're right about the laundry thing? Maybe if you wait a few more days?

I only judged that you were wearing great glasses, and that you probably didn't need a five-minute speech on why you should buy chocolate. Sometimes it works.

TLC said...

It was a cuddlefest, wasn't it? Except for the after-BlogHer snarkiness (there is an invite-only blog where they can snark about A-Listers...sad and what a waste)

I loved BlogHer and I loved everyone I met. They were great. I expected it to be more like high school...and it just wasn't. With one notable exception (and it involved a group with a lot of alcohol), I never got snubbed, ignored or anything.

It was just freakin' awesome. Gonna sell a kidney to get there next year.

T.

Jenny, Crash Test Mommy said...

I'm totally in agreement with your assessment of the faces of BlogHer and their perfect uniqueness. It was a beautiful thing.

I cannot however support your position re: Tempest. Centipede kicks Tempest's ass.

As you were.

laurie said...

Just uploaded some photos from the Mighty Haus party of you and Clair and was reminded to come check in with you (I'm a terrible GoogleReader user) When I feel like a big splotchy mess of whatever I will channel my inner brushstrokeyness, so thanks for that. : )

I'm glad you were there being an ass instead of somewhere else, and that I was too. :)