DO NOT MISTAKE PIQUED INTEREST FOR ACTUAL NEED

Things in the "FREE" category of craigslist in my area:


Pack of Silver Metallic Darkroom Paper 8x10 - Interesting!

Coffee and Hot Chocolate - 5 packets. A little odd.

huge piece of water proof material - Huge, huh? Wow.

Folsing tables - Huh?

Crap metale - Ah, yes. Free crap metale. I've been waiting for this day. Who hasn't?


We are ridding ourselves of an old truck in this very forum, so I thought I'd see what we are up against.

Apparently, we are up against freaks. As usual.

ERASE MY NAME, OR WRITE IT, AS YOU PLEASE

My beloved friend Steve posted this on his site and before I stopped crying I knew I would post it here, too:




So I be written in the Book of Love,
I have no care about that book above;
Erase my name, or write it, as you please--
So I be written in the Book of Love.

From Rubáiyát of Omar Khayyám

SUPRISE!

For the past few weeks my behavior has been a crap shoot. Inappropriate outbursts. Joyful celebrations. I've been an emotional pendulum.

I have recently found myself fuming at a lovely group of friends. For asking questions. And not being mind readers.

Weird, huh?

Turns out maybe it isn't my friends. Turns out, I have some repressed anger issues.

I'm very angry. Furious, actually. And not about anything that has to do with my friends. About how a moment can change your loved ones lives forever. About how my broken heart is never really healed, even after eleven years, one marriage, two kids, various jobs, cars, vacations, "Simple Abundance," therapy, bi-annual retreats, weekly womens' groups, time and space.

Nothing will ever heal it.

And for that fact I am enraged.

And I found out this week that the big company I work for has replaced my group with a "lower cost solution."

And I found out about this in an email from the new group soliciting me to apply for my own job.

LOVELY.

So that not smoking thing - it is off the table for the moment. I'll keep you posted. For now, I have to find a new job. Or bump off the entire replacement team.

I'm seriously torn.

Give me a light, will ya?

STUPID FUCKING HATE - FTW

In the car on the way to school this morning we listened to election results. When the news about Prop 8 (AKA "Ignorant Haters for Nixing Love if it isn't Exactly How They Deem it Acceptable") was announced I was audibly devastated.

Me: Oh my god, NO!

Maddy: What's wrong?

Me: Prop 8 passed. And I'm just really super sad about it.

Levi: What is Prom 8?

Me: Prop 8 is a proposed constitutional amendment for California stating that gay and lesbian couples won't be able to get married if they want to.

Maddy: Why not? Why would anyone care?

Me: I don't know why not. I can't imagine what two people loving each other and wanting to get married has to do with anyone else. I would be so sad if my state or country told your Daddy and I that we couldn't get married because other people thought we were too different.

Levi: Well, they would never do that, would they?

Me: Well, a long time ago it wasn't OK for people to marry if their skin colors didn't match, which would have meant I was only allowed to marry albinos. And there really aren't very many of them, and none of them would have been your father. Which would have sucked.

Kiddos: ???

Me: I know we need laws to protect people and animals but it's not like our gay friends want to get married and kill puppies. They just want to get married. If they feel like it. When the time is right.

Levi: Yeah, killing puppies isn't OK. But getting married is.

Maddy: I'd vote "no" for killing puppies but "yes" for love and marriage.

Me: Me too, pal. Me too.

ONE VOICE. ONE VOTE.

I take my silly little privileged life for granted every day. I bemoan the most trivial and ridiculous of issues while indulging my laziness and apathy. Just yesterday I was standing in my big, beautiful kitchen, bitching about how quickly my organic half and half soured (for my expensive french pressed coffee) and how those jerks at Trader Joe's will get an ear full next time I'm in there. Which will be tomorrow. Because I go there three times a week. Because I enjoy freshness.

I am an American through and through.

And while this may be true, I am also a loudmouthed, obnoxious, entitled, freedom vigilante. I will defend and protect my daughter's right to be in charge of her body. And my friends' rights to love who they want and marry if they so choose. And will proudly vote for a man who is allowing me a new sense of pride for this country that I take for granted and have been disillusioned by for far too long.

This is my birthright.

Happy day.