10/22/2008

A GOOD HARD LOOK

I went on my retreat this weekend. I usually go every April and October, but I missed this most recent April because I'd just started my new job. So it had been a year.

A year is, apparently, too long for me.

I haven't needed a retreat so badly in many years, and I've been going regularly for eleven.

I will not share specifics of this weekend away. As with every precious and special thing in the world the details are for the attendees. I will share, however, the theme: Self acceptance.

What if I accepted myself, totally and completely?

How would I be different in my life? How would my relationships change? How would I face life's challenges? How would I face successes?

So, I am sitting with all of these questions. I am considering myself in a way I have not previously.

And I have quit smoking.

Because no matter what, I cannot reconcile the future I hand myself by continuing to indulge in that behavior. Plus I fucking stink.

Pray for me.

5 comments:

zeghsy said...

i quit. again. just over a week ago. i got a chest cold that felt so bad there were moments where i felt i was drowning. i want one really badly right now.

Clair said...

Way to go. Good luck!

Laura said...

You'll get through it. Way to go!
I quit years ago and it still sucks. But I smell good or better. ;-)

Tammy said...

You go girl!! Enjoy all the new tastes and smells!

Sugar said...

That's awesome.

I changed a lot of my behavior patterns because I wanted to honor the life of the lady I have yet to meet.

Plus, my husband kept throwing away my smokes and I was using up all my shoe money...